I spent an hour writing a blog about my views on the pandemic, and even as I was writing, I knew I would not publish it. I looked at the words and asked, “what am I really trying to say” - the message that came through was: Question EVERYTHING.
Question your motives and your perceptions; question your beliefs and your values; question the rules - and then question why you are following them or why you are breaking them; question your memories and the messages that you were given as a child; question what you are reading, watching, and listening to; question your feelings and your moods; question your traditions and your religious beliefs; question your thoughts and where and who they are coming from. Yes, it is uncomfortable and scary to do this, it may create distance between you and others, it may be a free-falling kind of experience where there is nothing to hold on to, but it means everything to peel away the cultural and familial layers that, unbeknownst to us, influence every aspect of our lives. Be brave, try to understand what makes you tick, choose your responses rather than allowing them to occur unconsciously. And question everything.
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I write inspirations and blogs to offer my take on things. Sometimes it is reflective of who I am as a person, but more often it is about who I want to be. I remember watching an interview with Oprah and India Aria, they were speaking about India’s lyrics “I love myself unconditionally”. India said that she used this line as an affirmation - a hopeful statement that by declaration we make true. I find this to be the truth about my writings - in my attempts to inspire, uplift, empower others I am seeking to do the same for myself.
As Richard Bach wrote, “We teach best what we most need to learn.” We are all teachers and students. We are part of a circle not a hierarchy. from Christmas Eve 2020
Today I visited my dad’s gravesite and, as I was leaving, I looked at the county jail which sits next to the cemetery, and reflected about the people inside, confined, and unable to be with family and friends on Christmas. I thought how disempowering it must feel to lose your physical freedom, and I contemplated what enabled some to remain optimistic and others to fall into depression. What began as reflections about physical freedom turned to the emotional and mental prisons most of us live in – the bars, constructed by our thoughts and habits. Imprisoned by memories of past traumas, and by attachments to those beings and experiences we have lost. Our freedom blocked by inside voices that endlessly nag and berate us for not being good enough; from destructive habits that entangle us in a seemingly unbreakable loop of desire, indulgence, and shame. Our own personal prisons that we dwell in alone and too afraid to ask for help. But we are never truly alone, we can use the examples of others, who have overcome the same challenges, as a guide and, we can turn to our higher self who is there and ready to serve us. What bars are holding you and what can you do to free yourself? Recently I was watching an episode of Restaurant Impossible and what came to mind was how it is necessary to take a step back to gain perspective of our lives and the situations we find ourselves in, and that our failure to do so limits our ability to view potential solutions to our dilemmas. We end up so focused on the problem, looking at it with a kind of tunnel vision, that we only see a small part of the picture. And yet, bring in a stranger, especially an expert, in this case Robert Irvine, and it is like the boulder that has been blocking the way gets pummeled into small rocks that can then easily be moved. I think the keys are- being honest by admitting that there is a problem; having the means to make the change, or the vision to create the means; and being brave enough to ask for and accept help.
What are the boulders in your life that need to be shattered? Where and who can you turn to for help and advice? What small step can you take today to begin to create the solution? While writing, I noticed if the y in the word "your" is removed the new word is "our" – how cool is that! What a difference that single letter makes. Your responsibility becomes our responsibility, your mistakes become our mistakes, your prejudices become our prejudices. “Our”, what a beautifully inclusive word - it joins, it makes community and it recognizes commonality. Try it and notice the shift that takes place - for instance - it's YOUR turn to make dinner becomes it's OUR turn to make dinner - you have just created an opportunity to share an experience that may turn into one of your fondest memories.
I was working on affirmation videos and for the next project I chose the affirmation – I make good decisions. The statement seemed almost too simple to even bother writing about and yet, how many times has that voice in my head (and probably yours too) said just the opposite. How many times have we fretted about making a pressing decision or tortured ourselves about one that we had already made because we lacked the confidence in our ability to choose the best option. I realized that the simplicity of the statement was exactly what made it a perfect affirmation - the discomfort of making difficult decisions is something we can all relate to.
So, repeat with me, “I make good decisions”. this was written in the summer of 2020 I woke up this morning and my eyes were soft, like I had been having a nice dream. Anyone who knows me will suspect, as I did, that it was about some sweet dog. It was such a peaceful, happy feeling filled with love, it made me want to experience this feeling of gentleness, this softness in my gaze more often. And my wish came true later that afternoon, when I felt the softness return as I looked at a group of women that I care about deeply, and yet again, that evening, when I was sitting with friends enjoying their company and the pleasure of being outside on a summer’s night.
My musing for the day was realizing that I want to live with benevolence, that I want to truly see each person, to see the soul and the heart that lives behind the fear, the anger, and the disappointments that have been suffered. To see beyond the façade into the divine depths – to find the true connection. What softens your gaze and how can you expand the experience to make it more inclusive? A short time ago I logged out of Facebook for almost a week. I did this for several reasons, one was that I couldn't take the fighting and hatred being flung about - the polarization, the us vs them mentality; secondly I was finding myself getting so angry that I was afraid I was going to start spewing meanness and not only did I not want to act like that but I didn't want to think or feel that way either and lastly I think the world just crowded in on me and I needed space. Leaving Facebook helped enormously, I had more time and more peace, and I think I will continue to take breaks. However, I enjoy the connections, the inspirations, the camaraderie, and the humor so I didn't want to stay away for too long. With that being said I wanted to make a few statements in reference to some of the posts that trigger me because we seem to be choosing sides in issues that don't even require it. I think underneath most of us can unite. So here goes and please know I do not mean offense to anyone with my words. Just because I support Black Lives Matter does not mean that I don't support other life - in case you hadn’t noticed I am vegan - so I take the respect for life thing pretty seriously. Black Lives Matter vs All Lives Matter Just because I support Black Lives Matter does not mean I am anti police. I know there are many fine, honest, caring officers, and their lives are being put into greater danger by those that engage in brutality and injustice. Black Lives Matter vs Police Just because I support compassion and support for immigrants does not mean I am advocating for them INSTEAD of veterans. Immigrants vs Veterans (apples to oranges in my opinion) Just because I support full punishment for cruelty to animals does not mean that I don't support full punishment for crimes against people. Are comparisons really necessary when it comes to abuse and suffering? Michael Vick's cruelty to dogs vs crimes against people Just because I support the notion that every being (human and animal) has the right to medical assistance when needed, does not mean I support socialism. All sentient beings vs wealthy ones. Just because I support a woman's right to choose does not mean that I am pro-abortion. Abortion vs the right to choose Just because my opinions about the way this virus is being handled may vary greatly from yours does not mean I am right and you are wrong, or vice versa. Freedom vs security Just because you say tom "ah" to and I say tomato does not mean that we can't find value in each other. Let's talk, let's discuss, no bashing, no hatred, no snide posts. And before you speak or post, ask yourself what is my goal in sharing and what energy am I generating and passing on. Is my goal to inform, to empower, to bring smiles or laughter, to insult, to cause dissension, to unite, to vent, to garner support? Am I looking for a discussion or an argument, am I learning or teaching? Maybe if we can get a little clearer on our intentions, we will be more mindful of our words and posts. So, you bring your value and I will bring mine and maybe, just maybe we can move forward together. Recently someone said to me "I feel lost", the statement resonated with me because I so often feel this way. As i was contemplating the thought and feeling, what came to me was this - doing the same things, thinking in the same ways, behaving in ways that are expected and accepted is comfortable, maybe boring but at least familiar. But trying new things, stepping out of your comfort zone, not knowing what direction to go, this is where life begins but also where all uncertainty lives. Choosing what step to take when life has changed whether by choice or by circumstance can put you in no man's land, where the ground seems to keep shifting. The mind's job is to protect and to play it small and safe, it whispers "what if I get hurt, what if it doesn't work out, what if I fail". The mind leads you to regrets and thoughts of - if only I had tried, if only I hadn't been so afraid. But the heart lies close to the soul where imagination, creativity and love rule. The soul chose to come here for the adventure, the learning and for the pure joy of expressing itself. The soul wants to take chances, to feel it's limitlessness and to express it's magnificence. So when you feel lost and in doubt meditate, journal, talk it out with a friend.
Try out new hobbies, go to new places, break your routines, take classes, do some volunteer work - just small steps, no major commitments, and see you how feel. Be open to being a newbie at something, to feeling uncertain. You came here to live, to experience it all, don't spend your life wondering and contemplating all the possible outcomes. Take action and when you do the universe will take action and support you with new opportunities and experiences. I would love to hear your thoughts! |
AuthorCatherine Cashmere is a newbie blogger, working on transforming her own life and hoping to shine light for others. Archives
March 2023
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