until...

trying to make sense out of impermanence, out of love and loss…my words don’t express the depth of it…
we stay in our comfort zone afraid that if we step out even a little the whole façade will topple and fall….we live with blinders on for fear that seeing the whole of what is will be so overwhelming we will never stop screaming…we don’t think about death or discuss it, instead we avert our eyes hoping to avoid attention and therefore be spared…until...​until it all comes crashing down…our neat, tidy little existence is shaken to the core by loss – a death, an illness, a catastrophe…we wrap ourselves in distractions, in platitudes that hold no meaning all while desperately searching for our psychic protections…longing for the balm of numbness that denial and unconsciousness bring, seeking to lose our pain and fear in brief moments of forgetting….