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Be honest with yourself, take 100% responsibility for your actions and when you have a misstep learn from it and move on. Don't dwell in guilt, shame and regret. 
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Be a discerning reader, question the words and the motives behind them. Do a little research on the author - being familiar with their perspective will help you to see their slants and biases  Remember your mind and body hear and believe the words that you say, so make sure your words are healing and empowering.  What are you thankful for that can break the cycle of discontent?  Appreciate yourself and others in totality, the dark and the light, the welcome and the unwelcome characteristics, love the humanity. Carl Roger's was a pioneer in the practice of client centered psychotherapy, a man who truly appreciated his client's unique needs and stories and partnered with them to uncover their issues rather than playing the authoritative therapist role. (Rogerian therapy was like a guiding star for me when I worked professionally).  Even though you may never know who, let it be enough, to know that you do have an impact, that your life does matter.  Bundle up, step outside, let the cold invigorate you and appreciate how good it feels to be alive.  Think about this when you have the urge to say or do something nice for someone, it may be your calling to be an angel for a minute.  Even though most days it looks like we are going in the opposite direction of oneness I believe there will be great unity at some time in the future. But before things can be rebuilt they must be broken down, and the loss is experienced before the gain. Have faith and hope and do your part to spread kindness and maintain your equanimity.  Many of us were taught to pause, or count to 10, before responding in anger, but why not expand this to actually thinking about what we are saying, and asking if the words are useful and the tone conveys understanding and compassion.  Think about it like this -you like cold weather, your friend likes hot weather. Does either state a universal truth about the weather? No of course not. Maybe there are days where you actually want hot weather so you can go swimming. Again does that mean that everyone wants hot weather that day. No, the preference is coming from the person not the actual weather. Use this easy metaphor when you find yourself taking someone's words or actions to heart.  Give up trying to control everything and let life flow through you. Allow things to happen in their own time, in their own way. Trust the universe - her timing is impeccable.  Let go of the labels you use to define yourself and find your essence  |
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