This is how it feels sometimes isn't it? No one has all the answers, but if we live with kindness, compassion and integrity that will be enough.
Look at your life, at the people in it, at the books you read, the television programs and movies you watch and ask yourself - what kind of influence are they having on me, am I becoming stronger or weaker, happier or more stressed? And then adjust accordingly.
There is a passage in a parable by Chuang Tzu that illustrates this point nicely. To paraphrase - if you are in a rowboat and another boat comes and bumps into you, your immediate response will most likely be anger at the person steering the boat, if however you look over and find that the boat is empty and it just floated into your boat the anger will dissipate. Same event, different mindset. Consistent self observation will help you to free your mind.
Have hope and believe.
And as Louise Hay would say “All is well. Everything is working out for my highest good. Out of this situation only good will come. I am safe." It will work miracles in your life.”
Your thoughts and words help to determine which hormones are being released in your body. Think "healthy" thoughts.
Be brave enough to be honest with yourself. See the real you. then your thoughts and behaviors will be under your control rather than programming from the past.